heavy thoughts

Yep, all it took was a little bit of resting. It’s been 11 days since I started getting sick and today I woke up with all my symptoms cleared up.  I just had to STOP and just give it a rest for a little while, but am still so sad about not making the World Championship team. 

 I guess it was crazy to think that I could be gone for half a decade fighting this terrible disease, get healthy, train for a few months and win it all…but that’s where my mind is at.  There is no shaking my mindset these days…so I guess I am crazy.  Not so much crazy, just confident in who I am and what I have.  So as my friend, Kenta Bell said, “you just keep chopping wood and that tree is going to fall eventually.”

 Today I’ve been finalizing the last section in my book.  It was honestly very difficult to write (no ghost writer),  my words and thoughts only.  The worst part of writing the book was that I have to relive things I just don’t want to remember anymore, certain sections just can’t be ready without tearing up. Trying to train and race and write this book has been hell.  My mind is now on moving forward and the book just keeps bringing me back to that dark place, but having the words on paper has been a release and I guess the best part if that I know this book is going to help a lot of people suffering from autoimmune disease.  I hope it entertains the possibility of a full recovery, even those who feel like there is no hope. 

I hate it when I hear people say I recovered fully because I am an athlete. When people read how sick I really was hopefully they will understand that my drive and intention to get healthy at all costs was what got me healthy.  Being an athlete had very little to do with it, if anything, just helped me with the dedication of getting fully healthy..as it takes great dedication to keep going in sports after you get your ass kicked and still think you’re good enough for World Records.

Getting ready to go back to Colorado Springs now for more training …..and chopping wood.

I’ll be speaking at the L.I.A Conference in April about my protcol to beat Lyme Disease.

I Speak At The L.I.A Conference April 15th