This past week has been tough. On Monday I left to go see my grandmother who was getting ready to pass away. It’s about a 4 hour drive through the South Carolina country to get there. When arrived I spoke to her a little bit but she was unable to really respond. This was the 8th day she had not eaten and 3rd day without water. Fortunately I went a few weeks earlier to see her and had my last conversation with her.
The Perry Family
My grandmother had decided about a year ago not to get treatment for colon cancer (which there were tumors in other places as well). I’m sure the biopsy (which was unncessary) spread it quicker as biopsies usually do (when the needle is pulled out it contaminates surrounding healthy cells).
She’s 91 and it was her decision. It would eventually be something of this caliber probably sooner than later.
Just a few years prior she had knee surgery and the doctor screwed it up. Instead of local anesthesia, he put her entirely under! How ridiculous! You can’t go putting an older person “under” completely unless it’s a life or death surgery situation. Many old folks never come back (if you know what I mean). Because of the screw up, my grandmother could not come out of the anesthesia like a young person would and when in the hospital contracted pneumonia. If my aunts and uncles did not stay with her the entire time of her stay, she would of surely died. Her care in the hospital was a nightmare. Her doctors were telling my mother to make “arrangements” as they didn’t see her surviving. But I knew my grandmother would survive it for some reason.
What’s even more interesting is that it’s PROTOCOL to give people the product ENSURE (a food replacement type beverage) that they usually put in an stomach tube. Ensure is full of crap. It’s a bunch of fake nutrients and worst of all is the milk component as you never give people with pneumonia milk-based products as it can add to the fluid problem in the lungs. My mother tried so hard to give my grandmother my green drinks I was telling them to use instead, but the hospital just wouldn’t budge on their protocol, even if it meant death. After all, who can you blame when you have 100 nurses and doctors and nobody is really in charge!
**If you have loved one in the hospital you better use your own brain and make sure they get the right care at all times, because if you aren’t there…they probably WON’T.
My grandmother survived the situation, but it wasn’t until I gave her a number of helpful products to pull her out of it completely. When she arrived home she spent weeks being very ill, but part of the reason to get her home was so that we could give her the nutrition she was missing in the hospital.
Now after her funeral, my grandfather (who is 97) was unable to say goodbye, but finally did so on Tuesday. She died hours later at 12:30pm. Now he seems lost without her.
Wednesday people started coming over. In small towns it’s not uncommon for the entire town to show up with flowers and food. I forgot to move my car before people arrived and was apparently taking a 4 hour nap when Ms. Lewis came riding in with her land yacht and hit the side of my car. Older folks just love big cars don’t they? She told my mother that she “thought the car was parked closer to the wall then she thought.” All I can say is “Oh well.” Before the procession of land yachts arrived at the house, I moved my car.
It’s too bad I’m gluten intolerant. Dumplings, piles of sub sandwiches, pies, casseroles, cakes, and every type of food I couldn’t eat started to appear. One lady brought the same pie four times!
During the visitation on Thursday night, I shook hands with what seemed like the entire town. Most people said, “Oh, you’re the RUNNER! I read about you.” Well it’s nice to be recognized, but sometimes I hate being called The Runner. Does one word really sum me up? How depressing.
Visitation For Ruth Perry
I’m gald it was a closed casket. Honestly, my grandmother would of been pretty upset if it were open. Why on earth do people do this? When did this become the custom? Does anyone want anyone looking at their body when they’ve passed?
I personally hate caskets. I hate how they embalm people. The idea of being in an air tight casket so is seriously wrong. I know there are more natural ways these days and these “green” graveyards are starting to pop up. Jews are buried in wooden coffins so their bodies can go back naturally…whomever invented the air tight casket was deranged. It’s kind of like ancient Egypt in a way.
My cousin was saying how she hated the open casket funerals and how everyone stands around and says “don’t they look lovely” and you’re like “nah, they look like plastic”… but you can’t say that.
I think I’m going to have to get Special Native American Rights (my family has been here pre Revolutionary War, that makes me Native right?) so that my loved ones can immediately wrap me up in cotton shrouds and put me on a very large bonfire (outside) and cremate me the natural way. Seeing that this is illegal to do, I will have to obtain special rights. I might not be Native American, but I will be when I die!
Blowing off some steam with .410
I’m very sad to lose my grandmother. I always liked the way she looked at me when I was doing something silly (which is pretty much a daily occurance). It was always stern, but I could tell she was entertained and didn’t really mean it. Her quite determination was the kind that inspired heros.
Ruth McCullough Kirven Perry
*My stray cat- Burglar
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